Taking the Leap Into IVF
Choosing to move forward with IVF felt monumental. We knew it would be physically, emotionally, and financially demanding, but we were ready. I began giving myself injections every day to stimulate my ovaries. Some of the injections were fine, but others stung and left bruises. I couldn’t do the intramuscular ones myself, so my husband helped—and I’m grateful for that. But it was a lot to manage, both physically and emotionally.
When it was time for the egg retrieval, we got 13 eggs. We decided to fertilize half and freeze the rest, thinking it was the best choice for us at the time. Five days later, we had one healthy, grade-A embryo ready for transfer. I was so hopeful. This is it, I thought. This is our baby.
But about a week after the transfer, I started spotting. My heart wanted to believe it was implantation bleeding, but deep down, I knew. When my period arrived, the disappointment was crushing.
Dealing With Regret and Trying Again
Looking back, I wish we had fertilized all the eggs at once. We had been so careful, thinking we’d avoid creating too many embryos, but freezing the eggs impacted their quality. We thawed the remaining eggs and fertilized them, but only one grade-B embryo made it for transfer.
When the clinic called to tell me I needed to come in for a day-three transfer, I knew something was wrong. Day-five transfers are the goal, and my heart sank. Still, I tried to stay hopeful. But once again, the transfer failed.
By this time, three years had passed since we started trying to conceive. Friends around me were welcoming their second children, and I was still waiting. I felt so isolated, and the emotional toll was enormous.
A Glimmer of Hope: Our Second IVF Attempt
After taking some much-needed time to regroup, we decided to try IVF again. This time, we opted for PGT-A genetic testing. The retrieval went well, and we ended up with 14 eggs and 13 successfully fertilized. Four embryos made it to day 5 for genetic testing. Two were genetically normal—one grade-A and one grade-B.
This time, we tried a natural cycle for the transfer, but it had to be canceled because my body wasn’t responding as expected. I was frustrated, but I knew it was the right call. Finally, on our modified natural cycle, everything lined up perfectly. My ultrasounds looked good, and I felt optimistic again.
This is the one, I told myself. The embryo was perfect, the timing was right, and I was feeling more hopeful than my other transfers. But when my pregnancy test came back negative, I was devastated once again. Every failed transfer was harder to cope with. This was our third transfer with a genetically normal embryo, and I just couldn’t understand why it wasn’t working.
What’s Next? Facing the Future With Strength
Now, we’re left asking tough questions. What happens if the next transfer doesn’t work? What if we want more than one child? Financially, where do we go from here? We’ve started discussing options we never imagined: adoption, embryo donation, and surrogacy. These are conversations no couple expects to have, but they’re now a part of our reality.
Throughout this journey, I’ve realized how deeply personal infertility is. No matter how much support you have, no one can walk this path for you. It’s your journey. But with every setback, I’ve grown stronger, and despite the heartbreak, I still hold on to hope.
Your Story Matters: Share Your Journey
Infertility is a journey that no one should have to walk alone. Whether you’re just starting out, in the middle of treatment, or reflecting on your own path to parenthood, your story is powerful. I’d love to hear from you—your thoughts, your experiences, your frustrations.
Feel free to share your journey in the comments below or reach out directly. By sharing, you’re not only giving voice to your story but also offering support and solidarity to others who might be going through the same struggles.
You are not alone.
